Keeping Faith

Posted on by August 29, 2013
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We’re back from our wonderful Rethinking Everything conference adventure, and it was as fantastic and life-changing as I suspected it would be! A giant wave of gratitude to everyone who helped us by donating, spreading the word, and sending good vibes!!! I’m still integrating the ideas, inspirations, and lessons I brought back with me, and will write about those in due time.

However, I do have something to share with you right now, on my second day home (which has, by the way, been filled with cat snuggles, reading, unpacking, and rest).

Through the very process of raising money for our trip, I learned more about the power of trusting the universe, of going with the flow, of keeping the faith. We began our fundraising in May, and I figured that we could raise the amount needed for our airfare by June. A stern voice in my head said that we needed to get our plane tickets two months out, so they wouldn’t be too expensive.

Time passed. We didn’t yet have enough money for the flight, not even after our late-June yard sale. Hmm.  “Well,” this blustery voice of ego proclaimed, “we should be fine if we get the tickets a month in advance.” The rest of me replied with a gently-delivered, “sure, whatever you say.” Trusting in the process, having faith that all would unfold as it should. Even being willing to let go of being successful in our efforts. If we didn’t go? There’s always next year.

Next came July, and the voice was as authoritative as ever. It was convinced we wouldn’t be able to afford the ticket prices, which would surely go up. Not to mention, how could we possibly raise all that money for the hotel and other expenses? Good grief. But once again, I didn’t buy into it.

One night we received a note from the conference organizers. The person who was supposed to be running the Teen Camp had to back out – would we take over? In exchange, they would cover our hotel costs. Awesome! We signed on, and it was Faith 1, Ego 0.

We continued to monitor airfare costs, as we inched closer and closer to the amount we’d need. We were a bit concerned about baggage, as the places we’d checked charged for checked baggage, and some of them even charged extra for carry-ons! How light could we travel, while still having the materials we needed for our presentations?

More breathing, more letting go, more faith.

We ended up getting our airline tickets one week before flying out. On the phone with BlackLion as he made the arrangements, I recalled that someone (hello, Universe) had recently mentioned being sure to check JetBlue. So he did. And…ta freaking da!

We ended up flying, all three of us, round trip from Boston to Dallas via Jet Blue for….drumroll…. $725. Seriously. Not only that, but we could each have 2 carry-on bags AND our first checked suitcase for FREE. There’s more. We flew during the day (we’re just not morning people, so it was perfect), with no layovers. Direct flight, both ways.

JetBlue was awesome, and not only will I use them again, but I highly recommend them to anyone. However, that’s not the point.

My point is, the worrywart voice of the ego is not the whole picture. It blathers on, sounding very knowledgeable, but it’s full of hot air most of the time. I mean, where did those “rules” about how far in advance to purchase tickets even come from?!

The lesson I take from all this? Have faith. If something is meant to happen, it will. That doesn’t mean sit back and not work toward your goals; we did put a lot of effort into helping this trip happen. But combine it with faith. Go with the flow. Release your attachment to the “cursed hows” as Mike Dooley calls them. Ask. Believe. And you’ll receive.

Starcat’s Favorites: Transformation

Posted on by August 29, 2013
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As you read this, BlackLion, ElvenTiger and I are fully immersed in our Rethinking Everything Conference adventure. We’re so excited and thankful for all the community support that enabled us to attend this life-changing, transformative event! I’ll be writing more about it when we get back.

In the meantime, here are some links for your weekend reading pleasure. Enjoy!

Here’s a great post by one of the other presenters at Rethinking Everything.

I feel like some of my own boulders have become pebbles just recently, too.

A beautifully written article. I resonate with it deeply.

I love this tribute to a healthy attitude about your grown kids’ sex lives.

This one just plain makes sense. Respect the mysteries.

Blessings!

Cultivating Self-Love: Your Path to Wholeness

Posted on by August 20, 2013
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Okay, it’s confession time. Do you ever struggle with loving yourself? How do you talk to yourself, in the privacy of your own mind? Do you treat yourself with loving compassion? Come on, ‘fess up.

If you’re like most of us, you don’t treat yourself as kindly as you’d like. You criticize, you judge, you feel like you could always do more or better. I’ve been there and done that. Finally, a couple of years ago, I decided that enough was enough. I set out on a quest to find self-love.

After much soul-searching, inner work, and lots of spiritual practice, I’ve discovered how to love myself.

One of the best things that emerged from my work with self-love is the expansion of my creativity. As a result, I felt inspired to share my journey, so I did what I do – I wrote about it.

My second book, Cultivating Self-Love: Your Path to Wholeness is now available. BlackLion and I decided to publish this one ourselves, as an e-book. You can get it on pretty much any electronic device you like: Kindle, Nook, iPad, various phones, tablets, or laptops, via the Smashwords website. The Kindle version is on Amazon, too. The cost is only $4.99. I want the book to be affordable so that more people can benefit from it.

I believe that if each of us took the time to look within and really love ourselves, the world would be a much more peaceful, loving, joyful place. It starts with you.  But don’t just do it for altruistic reasons – love yourself because you are worth it, and because when you do, your life becomes a whole lot more fun. Blessings!

Nearly Ready

Posted on by August 12, 2013
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This summer has been a whirlwind of intense energies. Are you feeling it, too? My astrologer friends have been talking about all the powerful conjunctions, squares, and oppositions affecting us, not only individually but as a culture.

It makes sense to me. We made it through the portal that was 2012, the end of the Mayan calendar, and now we’re on to something completely new. Yet we don’t quite know how to approach it. Personally, I feel like I’m clearing out old energies and making way for a new consciousness, a new way of dancing through my life. I’m nearly ready.

A couple of cherished projects reflect that state as well.

I can’t wait to share my brand-new book with you! It’s called Cultivating Self-Love: Your Path to Wholeness. BlackLion and I are self-publishing it as an e-book, by choice. It’s the first in our new series, Inspired Living, and we like the idea of getting these books out to you in a timely way, at an affordable price. The new book is just $4.99. My intention is to publish two more in 2014. Yes, an ambitious goal!

Cultivating Self-Love will be ready this week, and I’ll let you know when it’s available. Writing this book was such a joy – sharing what I’ve learned over the past few years along my path to self-love is a delight. I really want to get it into your hands right now. In the meantime, here’s a taste of what it’s about:

Want to live a more joyful, fulfilling life? One of the best things you can do is to learn to love yourself. Most of us have been taught to treat ourselves with disdain and criticism. Yet within you is a wellspring of love that, when you learn to tap into it, will increase your compassion, creativity, and joy. Cultivating Self-Love: Your Path to Wholeness will lead you on a gentle journey to greater self-love and confidence. Step into the garden, and expand the borders of your closest relationship: the one with yourself!

Our trip to the Rethinking Everything conference in Dallas, Texas is happening in less than two weeks. Thanks to the generosity of our community, we have our plane tickets and we’re nearly ready to go! Thank you so much if you’ve contributed in any way, from dollars to well wishes. It has helped immensely. We still have a few expenses to cover, but we’re confident we can do this. If you still want to be a part of it, visit our fundraising page. I’m so excited for the conference, and for all the ideas and creations that will emerge from our travels.

The rest of the summer stretches out before me, with travel, family birthdays, books, gigs, helping my friends, dancing, and sunshine. I’m nearly ready.

Having Good Tools

Posted on by August 7, 2013
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As I mentioned in my last post, I have just joined the world of smartphones. Before this, I had the same cell phone since 2006, and we’d gotten rid of our land line at about that same time. I mostly used the phone, well, to make phone calls, plus as an alarm clock when I needed one, and I did a limited amount of texting. It could take photos, but I had long since maxed out the memory it had available and didn’t want to get rid of any of the pictures to add new ones. I also didn’t need to, as I had my Kodak digital camera.

These days most of us have a variety of ways we communicate and learn using technology. Sure, some of these things can be addictive. I’m not really into playing video games, but I have definitely had time zip by while reading updates on Facebook. At the same time, if those cute games relax you, and you learn and laugh from following interesting links on Facebook, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

It’s most valuable to use our technological tools, which I often think of as cute little pets, to support us as we do what calls to our souls. I also think that what we use them for, and how we customize these tools, reflects who we are.

My favorite creative activity is writing. I do most of it on my laptop or in a notebook. The laptop, which is a bit old but healthy, is great for editing, helping me organize my time and projects, and generally keeping track of all of the things I do for my business. I use it for e-mail, blogging, and online research. BlackLion and I share documents via e-mail and, more recently, via Google Drive. Before the smartphone, I would upload my pictures to the laptop from my digital camera, too.

I have a Kindle Fire, which I love. I am an avid reader, and adore being able to carry a stack of books in one small package. I still read paper books, too.  The Kindle is where I read blogs, and I also use it for e-mail when I’m not at the laptop. It’s clunky to type on, so I save most of my correspondence for when I’m back at the laptop, but it’s useful to be able to read through messages and get rid of ones I don’t need to respond to, and save others for later. The Kindle is perfect for reading in bed, which is a regular thing for me.

The new smartphone is less than a week old, but so far here’s what I’ve found myself using it for most: taking pictures. It has a great camera, and I can post or share the photos in many different ways. I’ve also started texting more, which I enjoyed before but took forever on the old phone. And BlackLion and I have started sharing lists on our phones, from grocery lists to things we need to accomplish for various business projects. It’s convenient and very helpful. Oh, and it also makes phone calls. Heh.

People may joke about how our society mostly uses the amazing computing power of our teensy electronic devices to spread pictures and videos of adorable felines. As a longtime cat worshiper and devotee, I don’t take the task of helping cats take over the world lightly. Well, yeah, I guess I do. But so do the cats.

What do you have for electronic devices? How do you use them? Do they help you support your soul work?

P.S. If you’re curious about such things, BlackLion and I both got Windows smartphones. We like them so far!

Starcat’s Favorites: August Already?!

Posted on by August 20, 2013
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The month of July seemed to zoooooom right by! As I’ve written before, August is perhaps the busiest month of the year for me and my family. So, here goes!

Some of the projects and fun things I’m involved with this crazy month: family birthdays, finalizing details for our trip to Texas for our Rethinking Everything adventure (and the trip itself is later this month), playing gigs with Dark Follies, getting my new e-book ready to release (coming soon soon soon!), preparing for an exciting author event in September, doing the kids’ end-of-year portfolio review, finishing my new guest post for Kind Over Matter, reading and reviewing books for some fellow authors, gearing up for the start of Dryst’s soccer season, volunteering at a couple of events…wow. I’d better finish this post and get busy!

In other happy news, my phone died. No, really, I’m glad! It’s the same phone I’ve had since 2006 (no joke) and I thought maybe it was completely indestructible. I’m going to finally join the new decade with a phone that can actually do some stuff, like taking pictures, and having enough memory to save and share them! More on that soon…

In the meantime, here are some links to brighten your weekend.

Of all the stuff I read this week, this one was the clear winner.

If the last few weeks have seemed especially intense, perhaps it’s the influence of the planets. Here’s another overview that might help, too.

This post is centered on dancers, but can apply to nearly any creative endeavor, especially ones you share with an audience. I found it thought-provoking.

Some silliness I can’t resist: the best cities for hippies. But, come on, why isn’t Portland, Maine on the list?

Are you a fan, like me, of the Harry Potter books? I saw this article on Facebook and had to read it – it has new information from J.K. Rowling on the lives of the characters after the book.

I love this post about how to raise your kids to be good writers. Seems like common sense to me!

There’s been some controversy going on in the online unschooling community over the past few weeks. I haven’t gotten directly involved, by choice, but I did appreciate this grounded and thoughtful post about it.

Have a terrific weekend and enjoy the summer weather!

That Other Place: Six Quotes on Imagination

Posted on by July 29, 2013
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I don’t know if it’s the alignment of the planets (which is pretty wild right now, just so you know) or what, but my imagination has been super active over the past few weeks. Today I thought I’d share a few of my favorite quotes on the imagination.

“I’ve come back to reality. Which is the world of the imagination. That’s the true world, Monsieur. Why did I ever allow myself to forget? You have to conjure it, that’s all. Sometimes you can completely forget it’s there. You get ground down in the minutiae of daily life, the details. And then it’s as though a door swings open, a door concealed in the wall, and you walk through, and you’re in that other place.” – Michele Roberts

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” – Mark Twain

“Sometimes imagination pounces; mostly it sleeps soundly in the corner, purring.” – Leslie Grimutter

“The world of imagination is the world of eternity. It is the divine bosom into which we shall all go after the death of the vegetative body.” – William Blake

flowers of life

Image by ludi-vine, ludi-vine.deviantart.com

“It’s like what Jung meant by the ‘collective unconscious.’ Only in my mind it not only takes in the past and all of human knowledge, I think it takes in the future. I think it takes in other worlds. I think it takes in the language of trees and animals. What’s important about that is the imagination is a real place. We simply have to learn how to enter into it.” – Deena Metzger

“Innocently to amuse the imagination in this dream of life is wisdom.” – Oliver Goldsmith

Has your imagination been especially active lately? If not, take some time for daydreaming and playing. It’s important for your overall health!

I Guess I’m Dead

Posted on by July 27, 2013
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I had a dream last night that I was in an empty office-type area, I think on a college campus. Some people, strangers to me, came in and started talking with me, and pretty soon one of them said to me, “I think you’re dead.” Another one agreed, “Yeah, I don’t think you’re alive here. I think you are dead.” My dream self thought this was funny and kind of cool.

“OK,” I said, “I guess I’m dead. I’m leaving.” So I walked out of the office and off the campus. I was walking down sidewalks, past gas stations and other businesses, bemused with the idea that I was actually dead, at least in this reality where I found myself. I wasn’t upset at all, just having fun with the notion of walking around as a ghost of some sort.

Death has been on my mind lately. I have a friend who’s just my age (early 40s) who is dying of cancer. Yes, it’s upsetting and sad, but it also gets me thinking about what comes after this life.

I freely admit that I have no real clue, no hard facts, no more than any of us do. My personal sense, though, is that we are eternal, that our consciousness continues in some form. I suspect we have multiple lives, and the consciousness we know as ourselves here on Earth is only a small part of the picture. I like the notion of probable realities, and enjoy reading about quantum metaphysics. In my dream, it seemed like I was playing with some of these concepts: I was “dead,” but I was still conscious, still exploring my surroundings, still essentially myself.

Even if these are illusions, and nothing at all comes after, I’m okay with that. It’s the cycle of life, death, and rebirth, and it happens all the time. We eat other beings, whether plants or animals or both, in order to live. We take their lives to support ours, and in turn the waste, the compost, helps more life to grow. Matter is energy, and it cannot be destroyed, only transformed – one of the few ideas that both science and religion seem to agree upon. I don’t mind becoming a leaf on a tree, sand in a brook, or dirt on someone’s shoe. Everything is part of the all.

Probably on some levels of non-physical consciousness, I am already dead.

Yet here I am, enjoying a leisurely exploration of philosophical ideas late on a sunny Saturday morning. I feel the breeze coming in my window. I hear the birds singing, someone’s lawn mower running, and the occasional baas of the sheep next door. I smell the stargazer lilies in the front garden. I’m hungry, and pondering what I can rummage up for lunch. I feel open and joyful.

And in that sense, like you, I’m very much alive.

Triggers and How to Survive Them

Posted on by July 25, 2013
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No matter where you are on your path, there will be certain situations, places, and people that trigger you. I ran smack into one myself this week. I could have seen it coming, but no. Triggers can sneak in under the radar and get us right in the gut.

What do I mean by triggers? I’m talking about things that bring up emotions that are way out of proportion to the actual situation. They push our buttons, and the feelings that emerge are usually tied to past events. They connect with old patterns that we haven’t fully resolved.

I mentioned recently a group I’ve been part of for years that now seems to be gradually dissolving, and how I’m feeling a bit sad about it. I still show up regularly, though, and the reason is that my kids’ friends are part of it, and they still get a lot of enjoyment from hanging out there. My teens are much more independent now, but they still depend on us for transportation. So off we go, to spend time at the place where their pals are.

For most of the evening, BlackLion and I were the only adults there, as the hostess had a meeting, and the other kids there were either dropped off or drove themselves. That was fine, and we just hung out chatting with one another and reading. The part that triggered me was when the hostess and another Mom showed up, and we were all chatting. It was casually mentioned that there would be a gathering up at their camp, and we were all invited – in two days.

Now, no one did anything wrong, and I want to make that clear. Some folks are more spontaneous with their gatherings, and others like to plan things out in advance. The trigger part was all mine, and I fully own it.

Here’s what happened in my psyche; it immediately brought up a whole wave of emotions and protests. My mental chatter was: “We have plans that day! We made plans to do gaming with friends, way in advance. But I know the kids will want to go to the lake with friends, especially Dryst. Which means he’ll be blowing off the D&D game, and we have to drive him all the way up there, and we have afternoon plans too. Why is other people’s stuff always more important than mine? Don’t I matter? What about our friends we’ve been trying to get together with? They’ll be disappointed if Dryst (or both kids) aren’t here. They’ll be upset with me.”  And on and on.

It led to further thoughts like “The kids need to get new friends. We always have to do all the driving, all the cooking, all the planning, and they never consider us, or come to our place or our events.” My monkey mind went on to disparage other adults in the group, ones who weren’t even there! “They only get in touch when they want something. No one cares about me or my life. They never even read my writings.” Blah, blah, blah! Good grief.

In my case, once I am able to stop and re-center myself, I know where all this baggage comes from. In the past, I was shy, insecure and didn’t really love myself. I would do anything just to be liked, and some people take advantage of that. It started way back in junior high, and continued in various scenarios until a few years ago, when I started learning self-love, and realized that I didn’t deserve to be manipulated. And it didn’t even involve this current group of folks!

That’s a serious trigger.

What triggers you? What types of situations send you back to old ways of feeling, negative thoughts that involve criticizing others, yourself, or the world in general?

So, how do you survive these triggers? The main thing is to be aware of them. I could have held on to my annoyance, and blamed those around me. But because I could see how the emotions were all out of proportion to the situation, I realized it was something in myself that I needed to work on. I think this awareness comes from practice, and a willingness to look within to see why things bother us.

Second, realize that your triggers are teachers. When something like this comes up, it’s an opportunity to let go of old stuff that you don’t need to be carrying around. There are many ways to do that. Breathe into the emotions and really feel them. You might have been repressing them for a long time, and they are just wanting to be acknowledged. Then you can let them go, maybe not all in one session, but layer by layer. Journaling about it helps me. Writing it all out onto the page allows me to release another chunk of yucky stuff that I’ve been holding onto, subconsciously, for years.

It also helps to do your inner work, regularly, whatever that means for you. Learning to truly love yourself, pursuing your creative passions, creating healthy relationships, meditation – there are as many paths as there are people. Find yours, and walk it, even when it feels hard, even when you’re pushing that same boulder up the hill over and over. Get some help when you need it – a therapist, life coach, or a trusted confidant can aid you with perspective and encouragement.

Be authentic. No matter how enlightened you’re becoming, triggers will still arise. You’re here to learn and grow. Embrace the work that pops up for you, and integrate it into your spiritual practices. You’ll not only survive, but thrive.

Touching Base with Yourself

Posted on by July 25, 2013
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How often do you take time to touch base with yourself? I don’t mean just looking over your to-do list, or noticing that you need a haircut. I’m talking about some focused solitude, where you turn off Facebook and the TV and really listen to how you’re doing.

beachwalkIt’s something I forget to do sometimes, until it becomes obvious to me that I need a break. My favorite two scenarios are spending a quiet evening in my candlelit bedroom, and taking a solo walk on the beach or a forest trail. You can also take yourself out on a date to your favorite cafe, take a yoga class, or sit on a park bench with a sketch book or journal.

Listening is key. We’re not really taught to listen to ourselves. It can be learned, though. The idea is to relax into your own thoughts and feelings. Stream-of-consciousness journal writing is one of my favorite ways to touch base.

When you’re spending time with yourself, put the emphasis on presence, rather than input. Shut off your phone – yes, really. Put down the book and turn off the music. Let yourself be expressive and creative, or simply be. Focus on the present moment. Go deeper.

How do you feel, right now? What emotions are swirling around inside? What does your body want? Stretch and move if that feels good, or lie down and relax. What thoughts recur and wish to be heard? Let yourself daydream. What images are popping up? What gifts does your imagination offer you? What is your intuition whispering about?

Being alone with yourself, and truly listening, will give you much-needed insight into how your life is going.

You’ll discover clues that lead you along new paths to more adventure and fulfillment. You are the expert on your dreams, your life’s purpose. Listen carefully, and then take inspired action.

You don’t need to seek outside yourself for answers. You already have what you need, or know where to find it.

Look within, on a regular basis, and you’ll feel better. You’ll have more fun as you navigate through your daily life – if it’s not fun, why do it? You’ll have a greater sense of the meaning of your existence here on the Earth, and be in a better space to serve your community. Your creativity will expand, and you’ll discover what you most love about yourself. Blessings!