All night last night I was dreaming about being a queen. I woke up wondering what it means. On one level, perpetuating the hierarchical structure of a monarchy, with arbitrary birth circumstances making people feel they can control all the resources – not really my thing. I don’t tend to like wielding power over others. Consensus is better.

Let’s see. I like the band Queen, and did participate in an impromptu group a capella performance of “Bohemian Rhapsody” in a bardic circle this past May. With yet a different definition, maybe it just means I’m a female cat.

Well, yeah. But there must be something more to this archetype that popped up in my subconscious.

These Queen cards are from The Sacred Circle Tarot by Anna Franklin and Paul Mason.

So I turned to the Tarot. The Queen cards portray female leadership qualities, and some of the life roles that women take on. You have the Queen of Discs (top card), who is all about physical expression, health, sexual pleasure, and security. Then, moving around the circle clockwise, there’s the Queen of Swords, whose realm is imagination, vision, creativity, idealism, and the intellect. The assertive Queen of Wands is filled with passion, illumination, faith, and strong-willed independence. The Queen of Cups is softer, and concerned with the feminine mysteries, feelings, intuition, beauty, and one’s private inner world.

Queens in the Tarot are, like the Kings, figures of authority. But their power is wielded in a gentler manner. It is “power with” rather than strict “power over.” The queen is emotionally mature, with some life experience and wisdom under her belt. She wants to inspire her subjects, and work with them to foster a strong community.

She is a matriarch in her family, and often assumes control over the household’s activities, keeping things running smoothly. That part sounds familiar.

After contemplating my queen-related dreams, I think that they are reflecting my current role in the family, and also that I’m seeking the best qualities of a benevolent ruler. The busier we get in my immediate family – and Autumn is often quite a busy time – the more my family members turn to me for guidance. “What’s going on today?” “What’s the plan?” “What’s for dinner?” are just a few common questions I encounter throughout the day.

This can become overwhelming, especially for an introvert who would rather dwell in her inner world.

I mean, sure, I’m really good at organizing and planning, but that doesn’t mean it’s my favorite thing to do. My own creative projects tend to get pushed aside in favor of the stuff of daily life. I accept that, and work toward balancing the various aspects of my life.

The queenly qualities I’m seeking are the poise and grace to gently guide myself and others, the fiery confidence to trust that I’m on the right path, and the emotional depth to accept life’s ups and downs. I want to serve as a positive role model for my kids, showing how life can be joyful even when it’s complex. All in all, being the matriarch is not a bad thing. It’s good to be queen.