I’m blessed to have a bunch of amazing crones* in my life. I’m surrounded by creative, talented, gorgeous older women who live their lives in their own way. They value community, are giving and loving, and continue to grow and learn.
And they don’t give a crap what other people think of them.
That’s something I’ve struggled to learn.
I’ve gotten much better about it over the years. I walked away from a few friendships that were full of judgement and (non-constructive) criticism. I wear what I want. I’m more able to just be myself, rather than trying to say or do what I think those around me expect.
But it’s still hard, sometimes.
Why do my crone friends and relatives** seem to disregard others’ opinions with such ease? Perhaps because they’ve realized that you can never really please anyone else, and that life is too short to waste on trying. I mean, of course they care about people. They are some of the most generous and kind folks I’ve known. But if someone has a negative view of them, they understand it’s not their own problem, but that other person’s.
They also all seem to have a great sense of humor about it. They don’t take themselves seriously, and are able to smile when someone thinks they’re a “crazy old lady” or a “left-wing hippie.” They shrug. “So what?” one of the fabulous crones might say. “As long as I’m being true to myself and living by my values, I don’t need to worry about it.”
I love it.
I already wear purple. It’s my favorite color. When I’m an old lady, I’m going to do whatever I want, without regard for public opinion, or even that of my own family. Hold on, why wait? I think I’ll do that now. Wanna join me?
* I use the term “crone” in a positive way, purposefully setting aside the negative connotation it can have in modern culture. In the Pagan community, it is a respectful term for a female elder.
** I don’t think my Mom quite knew what she was getting into when she agreed that I could put photos of her in my post on crones. But she’s one of the ones that seems to be having the most fun. Can’t you tell? Love you, Mom!