Happy New Year, everyone!
As longtime readers know, each year around this time, I read back through my journals and do a year-end ritual of reflection. This year I’m finding that I’m averse to it, or most of it anyway.
This past weekend I finished reading through my 2022 journal entries and it just left me profoundly sad. There were a lot of deaths in my life in 2022.
The loss of my Dad was the most significant, followed closely by the death of my familiar, Percy LoveCat. But I also lost my Uncle Walt (Dad’s brother), my old friend Luke (who I’d recently reconnected with), and my childhood neighbor and friend David. These were all people who had a significant impact on my life, even though there were plenty of years (in the case of Luke and David) when I didn’t see or interact with them.
Even Queen Elizabeth II died in 2022! It sounds weird to mourn her loss when I’m not a British citizen, but I’m of English, Scottish, and Irish descent, and it feels like a significant change, in a big-picture way.
I’m well aware that, even with the loss and grief, there are many blessings and things to celebrate. I also know there is much to anticipate in the coming year.
So I’m cutting myself some slack, and not doing the parts of the ritual that don’t appeal to me. I’m trying not to judge this aversion as bad or good. It is what it is.
It feels so weird, though, because normally I delight in the process.
I did make a vision board, and picked a word of the year (TRUST), because those things still felt fun. The word of the year came to me without trying.
I went more for a vibe, feelings, and aesthetics in my vision board this year, rather than specific things or places to manifest in my experience. I love how it came out. It feels right.
What about you? How is your year-end and new year process going? Are you doing the things you normally do at this time of year, or changing it up?