Life in Harmony with the Seasons

Posted on by September 3, 2010
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One of the many things I like about homeschooling is the ability to be flexible with the family’s schedule. Granted, there are events that happen at certain times, like sports practices and community classes. But in general, our unschooling lifestyle allows us to live in harmony with the seasons.

This week we had a late-summer heat wave here in southern Maine. While most kids were putting on their fall clothes and boarding the school bus, we spent three days at the lake (one as a family, and two at a friend’s camp with the Maine Wholeschoolers). Yep, three days of swimming, playing Frisbee, having cookouts, laughing with friends, pushing each other off the float, sharing games, sitting by the fire at night, playing ball, and reading. It was fun and relaxing. One of the other parents commented to me, as we watched 13 kids (ranging in age from 10 to 16) happily horsing around in the lake, screeching with laughter, “it’s a shame that homeschool kids have such problems with socialization.”

Although September has arrived, it was still summer: blazing sun, temperatures in the 90s, refreshing breezes that played along the water’s surface told us so quite clearly. Rather than spending the best part of the day in a hot stuffy classroom (two of our schooled friends complained about the lack of air conditioning in their respective schools), we were out there enjoying ourselves. We’re living by the natural cycles of the earth, not by pages on a calendar. Even so, there will be plenty of time for us to achieve our academic goals. The cold and rainy days of November will find us reading aloud as a family, figuring out math problems, and conducting group chemistry experiments. And guess what – we’ll be enjoying ourselves then, too.

The Elements, Part 2: Air

Posted on by July 29, 2013
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The element of Air swirls around us, unseen but essential to life. Air’s direction is East and its time is spring and dawn. Air’s colors are light and peaceful: sky blue, pale yellow, and pure white. Air’s essence is expressed by capricious winds, the flight of birds, and music of all types.

We need Air to exist. We can live for a time without sunlight or food or even water, but when we cease breathing for mere moments, that is the end of this lifetime. The physical process of breathing is complex, yet we do it all the time, unconsciously. Deliberate focus on the breath is an ideal way to calm our thoughts and emotions when we are in turmoil. Air brings us back to center.

Communication is an integral part of our relationship with Air. We can only see Air as it interacts with the other elements: we observe the smoke rising from a campfire, the clouds as they travel through the sky, the rippling leaves on the trees as wind moves past. Air can be tricky – when we express our thoughts and ideas, that which seems perfectly clear to us can be confusing or even hurtful to those receiving our message. We can use the power of Air to see through the illusions created by the mind.

Air brings new beginnings. Change is a constant part of our lives. We long for growth and progress, yet at times we resist it. Air brings us a reminder of how fresh and exciting a new phase of life can be. When we allow new ideas to breeze through our minds, we are cleansed and refreshed.

The tool of Air is the athame. This sacred knife slices through old energies, cuts away that which is no longer needed, and defines our boundaries. We hone our thoughts to a pointed focus, take a deep breath, and move into action. Air is our constant companion, from the first inspiration at birth until we expire and meet our death.

Tool of the Oracle: Your True Nature

Posted on by August 25, 2012
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I’m going to play one of those “blog meme” games, which I found here. Why? Because it sounded like fun.

So, here’s the deal:

Instructions:

1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

Mine, found in this post, is: “I hung out and danced to their music.” Interestingly, I think it does speak to my true nature.

Hmm, perhaps it’s time to go dancing again soon…

Show Your Unschool Spirit

Posted on by August 26, 2010
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BlackLion and I came up with a new idea for a collective, called Unschool Spirit. As we’ve been busily spreading the word about Feline Dreamers, we noticed that a lot of the folks who are really interested in it are also unschooling parents. We wrote up some ideas and have been sharing them with an online friend who happens to be a well-known and beautifully-spoken advocate of radical unschooling. She’s excited about the idea too, and we’ll have more to share soon.

In the meantime, here’s an excerpt from our write-up:

Unschool Spirit is the idea that as we unschool our children, encouraging them to be themselves by learning and growing in an environment of love and freedom, we can also learn to live this way ourselves. As we pursue the delicate and intense work of raising children in a respectful, partnership-oriented model, we find ourselves diving deeper into our own mysteries, exploring who we really are. By growing and expanding with our children, we become wholly ourselves.

By creating a community and framework to grow in, we gain valuable wisdom. We can share our own ways of spirituality in a safe and comfortable environment, garnering new insights and spreading the ideas of freedom, joy, happiness, and peace. Without limitations, fully conscious of our spiritual selves, together we create a world that we want for our children and ourselves.

Mountain Time

Posted on by August 20, 2012
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Last month, I went with my sister-in-law and daughter on a backpacking trip to Baxter State Park. I was born in Maine and have lived here my whole life, but I’d never been to Baxter before. It was amazing! Mt. Katahdin is the tallest mountain in Maine and there are many Native American legends about the area. Along with the beautiful panoramic views, I enjoyed the powerful energies emanating from the land.

We hiked up South Turner Mountain the first day and saw a moose enjoying lunch in a pond along the way. The next day we backpacked the 3.3 miles into the Chimney Pond campsite and then did another short hike in the afternoon. On Thursday, when we were planning to hike to the top, it was too rainy, so we just did a couple of shorter hikes below the treeline. Friday we got up early and hiked up Cathedral Trail, a very steep climb that involved lots of shimmying up over rocks. ElvenTiger loved it! The views were astounding. When we were near the top, although there wasn’t much wind (surprisingly), we could feel the sensation when we entered a cooler layer of air.

Above is a picture of us at the summit. When we got there, we met two Appalachian Trail through-hikers, just completing their 2,000+ mile trek. One of them appeared to be in his 60s. Inspiring! We hiked back to the campsite and then put on our backpacks and headed back out. It made for a long day and the swim in the pond at the bottom was lovely and refreshing.

One of my favorite hikes of our trip was the Pamola Caves. There was a trail that wound in and around all these huge fallen slabs of rock that had created caves. A spring up above the caves allowed water to trickle down in and around them, refreshing us on a warm afternoon. The energy of the place was magickal and empowering. I felt the spirits of the land very strongly. On the way back down, I found out that Pamola is a Native American deity. I thanked him for making himself known to me that day.

The trip was fun and challenging and powerful. I will definitely go back again. ElvenTiger and I want to have time to hike the Knife’s Edge next time!

Food Labels

Posted on by August 15, 2010
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Last week Dryst and I went to a BBQ sponsored by his soccer league. We knew the menu involved hot dogs and hamburgers and had been asked to bring a bag of chips to contribute. When it was time to eat, I filled my plate with green salad, a bit of pasta salad, Sun chips, and some fresh fruit. I grabbed a bottle of water and sat down on the grass to eat. While I was enjoying my simple meal, I had a realization.

I’ve been a vegetarian for many years now and both my kids were raised that way from birth. They’ve each maybe tried fish once or twice, and that’s it. But a few years ago, I would have felt unfairly ignored at such an event. My friends and I would have, faced with a similar situation, brought some veggie burgers and asked the guys at the grill to prepare them for us or at least packed some food in a cooler that we could have. I was pleased to realize that, instead of making a fuss, I could easily meet my own needs at such an event, enjoying a simple salad and fresh fruits.

Rather than labeling ourselves, which is a human tendency, I think it may work better to simply eat what appeals to us. Our food needs evolve as we grow and change throughout our lives. There are many people in my life who have recently made big adjustments to their eating habits: a family who ate primarily vegetarian or vegan for years recently added local meats to their diet; my Dad changed his entire way of eating after a heart attack two years ago; and a woman now craves (and enjoys) eggs after not being able to tolerate them for years of vegetarian eating. After a recent illness, I’ve re-introduced yogurt to my primarily-vegan diet (see, there’s that label thing again!), and it’s working well for me.

I think when we limit ourselves to a label based on what we eat, while the shorthand is sometimes helpful, we can put ourselves in a box where some foods are “bad” and some are “good.” I personally have no plans to eat meat (because it doesn’t appeal to me at all), but the addition of some yogurt or butter to what I eat doesn’t mean I’m a “bad vegan.” I eat what my body asks for and, like everyone, that changes and shifts over time.

And with this relaxed self-definition, I feel more comfortable allowing myself to eat what feels right, without worrying what anyone else thinks about it. It feels great! Why stop at food labels? Maybe there are other self-designed boxes I can simply step outside…

Taking Health for Granted

Posted on by August 10, 2010
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Several years ago, my Mom was in a severe car accident. She was in the hospital, mostly in intensive care, for two months, followed by two more months in rehab, and some follow-up surgery a year later. As a result, she still has some trouble with her right hip and leg, and uses a cane.

This summer I went with my parents to visit a cemetery where one of our ancestors (who died around 1712) is buried. I use the term “cemetery” loosely – it is actually a burial ground on what was the family land, now privately owned and undeveloped. My parents have been working on our family genealogy for years, but they hadn’t yet visited this site.

It involved a trek into the woods with two women from the local historical society who knew where the gravestones were. The entire walk to the cemetery was about half a mile, which to me seemed like a short stroll. But because of the uneven terrain, Mom had to pause frequently to rest and I could tell it was a strain for her.

After we had checked out the stones and taken lots of pictures, and after Mom took a rest on a stump, we started to head back. We realized that we’d been walking down a long gradual slope, so the journey back to the cars was uphill. Mom had an even bigger struggle getting back and was relieved when she could sit down. She took a pain pill and admitted she hadn’t been sure at times if she could make it back! Yet before the medicine could even kick in, she was saying how excited she was to have seen the grave site, and how glad she was that she had come!

It was an “aha!” moment for me. I realized how much I take my mobility for granted and I made sure to express my gratitude for it. You see, I’m blessed to be very healthy the vast majority of the time. I don’t take any medications, I eat healthy foods prepared from scratch, and I get plenty of exercise. I’ve avoided injuries and don’t have any chronic conditions. And I’m thankful.

Even more so when things don’t go as planned. Just recently I’ve been facing some health issues (let’s just say female plumbing problems and leave it at that). I had to take antibiotics, which for various reasons I don’t like to do, and I’ve felt really…well, ill. This situation has brought me a greater-than-usual dose of compassion for those who struggle with health issues and even more gratitude that I’m usually feeling quite well. As my condition has gradually improved, I’ve resolved to not only stay healthy, but to stay grateful as well.

I’m That Mom, Too

Posted on by July 29, 2010
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I came back from the backpacking trip (which was amazing, by the way – more soon) and, after resting and doing tons of laundry, started getting caught up on the blogs I read regularly. And I found that several of my unschooling favorites were taking part in a “blog carnival,” called “I’m That Mom.” It was started on this blog, inspired by a post on this blog (neither of which I knew about before, but I may have to check them out – the titles alone are intriguing!). If you want to read some of the other “I’m That Mom” posts, look at the comments on the blogs above and start clicking on names. Anyway, here’s my contribution…

I’m that Mom who always says yes to impromptu requests for sleepovers, unless there’s something important on the calendar that would prevent it – even if it annoys the other Moms that I’m so quick to agree. At this age, my kids are all about being with friends, and I enjoy providing space for them to hang out and play. I work to help make things happen that they are excited about: going swimming, playing sports, buying a new video game, learning a new art.

I’m that Mom who trusts the process of her kids’ education, of their lives and interests. Yes, I make suggestions, but I try not to push things on them that they aren’t interested in. I trust that they are learning what they want to learn, not what I wish they would. I’m that Mom who encourages kids to be themselves, and to play and explore as much as they wish.

I’m that Mom who is gradually helping our family give up on arbitrary limits. Who am I to tell them when (or how long) to sleep, what to eat, or how much time to spend on one of their passions? I would much rather they discover those things on their own, with me here to advise them when they ask. Many of us in my generation have had to work hard to unlearn our ingrained desire to “be like everyone else,” to conform and please others and get along. The reason I like unschooling (as a lifestyle, not just an academic choice) is because it encourages individuality and the gradual discovery of who we are. I am here as a companion and facilitator for my kids, not as their boss or taskmaster.

I’m that Mom who cringes a bit when others criticize or express doubts about her family’s way of being, yet doesn’t let that get in the way of following this unconventional path. I’m the Mom who purposefully lets go of the negative energies spawned by arguments or misunderstandings. I am learning to just be, in this moment, letting the joy of my life and my kids’ lives unfold in ways that are eternally fascinating, whether they involve writing a paper, playing X-Box, or simply sitting in the yard and watching the clouds.

Rites of Passage

Posted on by August 20, 2012
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My brother, who is in his 30’s, just got married. The whole family is very excited for him, both because we had hoped he would find true love and because his new wife is so sweet and wonderful! She also has a daughter who’s 19 and it was so touching they included her in the ceremony. Here’s a snapshot of the bride and groom, plus my brother’s new step-daughter, with me clapping in the background.

The wedding was held here on the family land, and everyone came together to help out. We planned and schemed and cooked and decorated and had a wonderful time. Two of my wonderful friends and their kids came and helped prepare and serve the food. The wedding cake was made and decorated by a hand-picked team of chefs: Mom, Aunt Peg, BlackLion, ElvenTiger, and I. The bride planned a lovely black-and-white theme, with delightful decorations. Of course, the weather was made to order. And the wedding turned out just perfect!

I was honored to be the officiant. Although I’ve been licensed clergy since 2006, this was the first wedding I’ve performed. And to have it be such a special one! I had goosebumps during the ceremony (though I managed not to cry – I wanted my voice to be clear for the whole thing).

And now that everything is all cleaned up and put away from the wedding, there’s another adventure starting tomorrow! ElvenTiger and I are headed off on a backpacking trip with her Aunt Molly (my sister-in-law). The last time we did a girls-only backpacking trip, I was pregnant with ElvenTiger! So it’s a rite of passage for her. She’ll have to carry her own pack this time.

Starcat’s Top 13 Spirituality Booklist

Posted on by July 4, 2010
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As most of you know, I’m an avid reader and self-described bookworm. I love books of many types. But once in a while, a book comes along that just totally sweeps me off my feet. I am reading one right now (see number 13 on the list below), and it sparked the idea for this post.

The category for this list is books that have profoundly affected and influenced my spirituality. Normally I don’t re-read very often (too many books, too little time), but several of these are exceptions. These books are kept near for handy reference (when they are not lent out) and are often purchased in multiple copies to give as gifts. I very highly recommend all of them.

Without further ado, here’s the list. They are listed in reverse chronological order (from the one I’m reading now to the one I first read, as best as I can recall).

13. Conscious Dreaming: A Spiritual Path for Everyday Life by Robert Moss (Crown Trade Paperbacks, 1996). ElvenTiger found this for me at a recent library book sale. It has rekindled my passion for working with my dreams, which have long been a very rich creative source in my life and spirituality.

12. Old Path White Clouds: Walking in the Footsteps of the Buddha by Thich Nhat Hanh (Parallax Press, 1991). A friend gave me this book for my 40th birthday last fall. I consider myself a Pagan, yet Buddhist spirituality is a strong influence in my life and practices. This beautifully-written tale provides much food for contemplation. I’ve read a few other books by the same author and they have all been of highest quality.

11. The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche (HarperOne, 1994). While I personally feel that the afterlife appears differently to each person based on their expectations and beliefs, this book has tons of useful and thought-provoking information. I especially enjoyed the sections on meditation.

10. Evolutionary Witchcraft by T. Thorn Coyle (Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 2004). At at time when I was experimenting with my energy system in new and fiery ways, this book cracked me open even further. The exercises are worth doing.

9. Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia by Rob Brezsny (Frog, Ltd., 2005). I am still working through this book, four years after I bought it. The exercises and writing assignments help keep me focused on the playful side of self-development and change. Brezsny is brilliant and is influencing our culture in wonderfully insidious ways.

8. The Twelve Wild Swans by Starhawk and Hilary Valentine (HarperSanFrancisco, 2000). Another workbook-style text, this one based on an old faery tale. Starhawk is one of my favorite authors and this is my second-favorite of her books (see below).

7. Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue (HarperCollins, 1998). This one is a gem. It’s an intricate weaving of myth, wisdom, philosophy, poetry and connection. It feeds my Celtic soul.

6. Fire In the Head: Shamanism and the Celtic Spirit by Tom Cowan (HarperSanFrancisco, 1993). Early in my study of spirituality, a Native American author advised readers to seek out the magick of their own blood ancestry rather than co-opting native teachings. This book is a lovely text about the shamanic practices of my Celtic ancestors.

5. The Fifth Sacred Thing by Starhawk (Bantam Books, 1993). Before I read this work of fiction, I had read several of Starhawk’s non-fiction offerings and loved them. This novel allowed me to vividly see and feel what she was talking about. This is my all-time favorite of Starhawk’s writings.

4. The “Unknown” Reality: A Seth Book by Jane Roberts (Prentice-Hall, 1977). The Seth books and philosophies are probably the biggest influence on my spirituality. I devoured all of them, making extensive notes and practicing the exercises. I picked this one (which is presented in two volumes) for this list, but they are all top-notch.

3. Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins (Bantam Books, 1984). A fun and rollicking ride through crazy worlds full of myth, magick, and serendipity. I resonate with this way of experiencing reality.

2. The Temple of My Familiar by Alice Walker (Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1989). She’s another of my top favorite authors and this book weaves in many elements of my philosophy of life. And, there are big cats.

1. In the Shadow of the Shaman by Amber Wolfe (Llewellyn, 1989). This was the first Pagan book I ever read and it helped to set me on the very fulfilling spiritual path that I’m still walking today. It’s also a great reference to use when creating rituals and celebrations.

If you have life-changing books you’d like to recommend, please comment here!