I grew up in a household that I’d now describe as a combination of atheist and agnostic. We didn’t attend church – after a failed experiment of my Mom sending me to Sunday school at my Baptist paternal grandmother’s urging. Mom didn’t appreciate her little 4-year-old innocent child being sent home with pamphlets saying I was a sinner. Go figure.
We weren’t fans of Christianity, or at least the version we witnessed in the culture. Don’t get me wrong – if you’re following Christ and his tenets and it works for you, rock on. It’s the hypocrisy, judgement, and proselytizing that turn us off.
I remember my Mom ranting about the right-wing Christians who refused medical treatment for their dying children, assuring concerned health care workers that their faith would provide all the healing they needed.
We made fun of things like that. We thought that giving up control of your life to a deity was foolish.
The agnostic part? While we didn’t buy into the Judeo-Christian version of God, we did often speak reverently about the power of Mother Nature. We believed in the mysteries of life. We acknowledged that science, while valuable, doesn’t have all the answers.
In college, I discovered that while I’m still not religious, I am deeply spiritual. I’ve been living, practicing, and exploring that spirituality ever since. It has evolved a lot over the past three decades.
Fast-forward to today. I now describe myself as a practical mystic and a priestess of the Feminine Divine. My personal spirituality is an eclectic blend of Paganism and Buddhism with New Age philosophies.
While I definitely seek the aid of Western medicine when it’s needed, I’m now one of the people who lives with a deep faith in the Divine. My living faith guides my life every single day.
Recently I was guided to read the book The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer. It was mentioned in a discussion at a women’s networking breakfast I attended, and the very next day was recommended by one of my favorite online mentors, Jeannette Maw of Good Vibe University. So I went right out and got a copy (that guidance and me heeding it thing).
This book is fantastic. It’s a very clear illustration of the miracles that can happen when you surrender to faith in the Universe (or Goddess, God, Nature – insert your favorite name for the mysteries here).
I resonate with this tale because it’s happening in my own life. Not that I haven’t worked hard to get where I am now – but I’ve blended that work with the power of faith and letting the Universe be wiser than I am (which She is).
It occurred to me this morning that the late-1980s version of me might not even recognize the go-with-the-flow, living-in-faith version that I am now.
At the same time, the younger me was a seeker, and her explorations led me here. It’s less than three weeks until my 50th birthday, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m doing things I love, with people I love, in places I love…all the freaking time.
Is it ironic that I ended up here, living by faith? Maybe. A blessing? That’s for sure.
If you’re struggling – find your faith. Not the one you’ve been taught by others, but your personal flavor of allowing yourself to be moved by something greater than yourself. It’ll rock your world, in the best possible way.
(I’d love to hear your faith story – drop me a line or leave a comment!)