I Lost It

I’ve lost it. No, it’s not like I freaked out or anything, although that can happen to any of us from time to time. Not my sanity, per se. I mean, I lost the list of links that I had planned to share with you today. I’m not sure how it happened. Perhaps I was mistaken – I thought I still had a long list of links that I’d been saving up in an e-mail to myself. But I’ve searched for it in many different ways, and it just doesn’t exist.

I used to be pretty organized, and for the most part I still am. But these days I’m finding that the creative process is what’s most important to me, and I’m letting some of my super-Virgo-on-top-of-it-all tendencies slide. I took a brain quiz, and was surprised and delighted with my results: 87 percent right-brained. It must be from my intense focus on my creativity.

BlackLion and I are collaborating on a novel for NaNoWriMo, and it’s coming along nicely. Just past the halfway point of the month, each of us has written over 30,000 words. We’re at the midpoint of our story, and continue to flesh out our list of scenes, adding nuances and twists as we go. It’s so much fun, I just can’t describe it accurately. I’m allowing my imagination to expand beyond my previous (self-imposed) limits. My dreams are filled with stories, and on busy days I long for more time to create.

When I do slip into “the holidays are coming and there’s so much to do!” mode, or get overwhelmed with worry for family members going through difficulties, I gently remind myself of my priorities.  I return to my mantra: “connect, receive, create, share.”

My focus now is on love and family, practice and creativity. Those are the most important things. Creativity is how I share myself with the world.  Love is the basis of all my inspired actions.  Practice reminds me to return, again and again, to my intentions.

In the big picture, perhaps what I’ve lost is the desire to control. When that desire resurfaces, causing stress, I immediately notice that it doesn’t feel right. I release the struggle and slip back into the flow.  I’ve lost control, and discovered the joys of deep connection.

Tell me what you think!

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