I haven’t been writing much lately. Not as much as I usually do, certainly. I’ve been struggling a bit not to feel bad about myself for it. I was in the midst of a busy patch, and it seemed like the thing that kept getting set aside each day was my most cherished creative work. It felt awful. I may or may not also have been, well, kind of hormonal.
Anyway, today is more settled, both in terms of emotions and sheer amount of things to do. I’m taking a look at the big picture, and what I’m discovering is that life goes in waves sometimes. And that’s okay.
It’s not like I haven’t been creative. My performance troupe had a big show on Friday, and leading up to it I was putting in a lot of extra rehearsal time. It was fun, and it paid off – the show went really well, and we got lots of terrific audience feedback. We had a band-only rehearsal yesterday, and that was really enjoyable as well. The time zipped by as we worked on some new material and some arrangements for songs already in our repertoire.
I’m also changing my lifestyle around, in terms of eating and exercise. I’ve still been doing yoga just about every day, and I’ve also been walking. I’m learning archery from ElvenTiger, and she assures me that it builds not only your arm muscles, but your core strength as well. I’ve cut out sugar, and cut way back on bread, fried foods, and dairy. I’m eating less and feeling good. It’s an enlightening practice to notice what foods my body really enjoys and which ones feel heavy or not as good when I eat them.
Today BlackLion and I dove back into the revisions for our novel, and wow, what fun! We worked on them together for a few hours, and just like in rehearsal, the time zoomed by and I felt so uplifted when we were finished for the day. I’m excited to get back to our story tomorrow!
I love that I’m still learning about myself all the time, even at age 44. I’m also unlearning old habits that have lingered, the primary one being that feeling of being “bad” or “wrong” when my focus changes and I don’t meet my own self-designed goals. It’s okay to be flexible. I think I’m afraid that if I don’t stay on top of these goals, that they’ll get lost entirely, and I won’t write anymore at all. Truly, that’s very unlikely. So I’m trying to relax into the flow of life and not get so stressed.
My current plan is to finish my post about yoga philosophy and resources this week, but if you don’t see it, rest assured that I haven’t abandoned the project. I’ll be out surfing the waves of life, enjoying myself in whatever present moment I inhabit, and letting go of any residual guilt. I hope your week is filled with joy and creativity, too!