As I learn more about my fire and my will, and explore what it means to be fully myself, I’m finding an interesting balance between self and service to the community. In the past, I tended to err on the side of being a bit too focused on other people’s needs and desires, to the detriment (sometimes) of my own. That type of selflessness can backfire, because if you don’t take care of yourself, you can burn out and then not have any more energy to give, whether you like it or not (been there, done that).
On my new path, there are times when it feels like I’ve gone to the other extreme, being selfish to the exclusion of the needs of my family or friends. This has been pointed out to me a couple of times recently. And of course, that taps into my old pattern and I feel horrible about it, and start to question my new way of being in the world.
But, as my dear friend B. says, there is a middle path, that of ““self interest.” As I’m learning, this is a way of being that takes into account one’s own needs and desires, and pursues them in a way that is in sync with the needs and desires of loved ones and the greater community. It allows for service to community, but in a way that “feeds” one’s energy rather than drains it.
I can take the energy I get from doing what empowers me personally, and feed it back into helping others with their work. That way, everyone benefits. And I’m being more authentic in the world, by acknowledging and acting upon my own desires, exercising my will in a positive and sustainable way.
It’s still a work in progress, this new way of approaching my life. Feedback and suggestions are certainly welcome!